dance my puppets dance

Rant On:

Seriously… Penguins?

Dennis Leary did some stand up before he was rescuing people on FX… I have always been a fan of his rants and ire towards the collective following blindly ignorance and selling it as intellectualism (all of his stuff is NSFW, vile, vulgar, and 94% accurate). One bit in particular was him blasting those who boycotted tuna fish back in the day.

“Don’t eat the tuna fish…”

“Why?”

“The dolphins they get caught in the nets and die…”

“Really? What about the Tuna?”

He pointed out a very true fact. If it’s cute its protected if its ugly… well its food. You don’t see but a handful of nutbags marching with signs to protect cows… Why? Because cows are ugly, taste good, and we make useful stuff out of them.

My point, is the premise of the first Happy Feet (which I am ashamed to have had to watch... the price you pay for being a children’s minister) was the evil humans trashing up something and killing cute little penguins. From what I’ve read the second one follows suit with more PC garbage mixed into song for children’s brainwashing… Which I’m sure some oil (or big company) will be the evil that our kids will learn to hate and mistrust… because they keep the penguins from dancing…

What about the cows? What about the chickens? They are cute when they are young? Maybe they want to dance? Do we get to see movies about how they are hauled off to slaughter? No… because we eat them, and brainwashing our kids to hate the food industry wouldn’t serve any political agenda… because we all need food. I mean we all need oil and gas too… But those companies are evil. You know because they sometimes kill animals and ruin the environment (and often spend billions cleaning up there messes). I mean farmers and ranchers only help the environment, I mean cows, chickens and pigs don’t pollute ground water, air, or soil…

Oh wait:

http://www.nrdc.org/water/pollution/ffarms.asp

http://science.howstuffworks.com/environmental/life/zoology/mammals/methane-cow.htm

http://www.riverlaw.us/realhogfacts.html

If only livestock didn’t taste good and wasn’t necessary for human existence we could have them dancing showing us how evil farming and ranching was and how many little critters don’t get to be happy and gay dancing the days away… I’m going to drive to get a cheese burger, and eat it smiling…  Seriously… Penguins… again…

Rant Off:

a plot of a movie...

Rant on:

The year 1998 the film The Big Lebowski... A lot of people love the film, and a lot don't like it or understand it. The moral of the story is this. You have two Lebowskis whose lives intersect. The first is a man known as "the Dude" who is only known for abiding. The Dude, is a lovable bum of a man who lives for white Russians, bowling, and some self medication. He has no gainful employment. He contributes nothing to society. He happily lives of the system. He does not hide his nature. He is a shiftless lovable tramp who would never willingly go out of his way to do... well anything. 

The other Lebowski, is an old man who married into money. Who poses as a rich philanthropist, and has a twenty year old trophy wife and a personal assistant (a Smithers to his want to be Monty Burns). As you find out the "Big Lebowski" is a fraud. He is not rich. He is living off the wealth of His deceased wife, and did not work for a single cent he lords over everyone else... You will discover that he is not allowed to manage, invest, or touch any of the money he surrounds himself with. He is given a meager allowance to do as he wishes. 

The basis of the movie is they are both the same people. One just accepts it, and is viewed as the hero. The other poses and is viewed as the villain. Why is this relevant today? 

I bring you to occupy wall street...

You Have a bunch of hipsters, hippies, and mindless drones moaning on about how 1% controls 99% of the wealth and they still get bailed out... Wait... That is something to be a little upset about. But did the hippies focus on the idea that wall street did not write a single check to the people whose money they squandered? Nope. Did the hipsters mention that small businesses were crippled by wall street banks losing their money and recalling their credit, but were not given any of the billions funneled into the banks? Nope. These freaking mouth breathers have the stones to whine about the fact they too are in dept over their head and there is no government bail out for them... 

Wait... What? seriously? A group of people are not outraged that we as a nation have to pick up the tab for poor investing and bad money management, but instead are PO'd because they were not bailed out of their own bad choices and poor money management... 

Don't even get me started when the celebrities try to get in on this... If you feel these idiots need to have their debts paid off Oprah, then write a frigg'n check.  You too Kanye,

Not seeing too many of the celebrities digging into their $4,000 pants fund to bail out a 9 year student of basket weaving, do ya?

"But those evil rich people, they don't deserve a bail out.... We do... Cause we're poor. We uh... Spent all our money on stuff we can't... Uh... Use... or sell... or get rid of... or profit from..." (I hope you read that in your best whiny 8 year old voice)

Occupy wall street was nothing more than a bunch of children raised with the entitlement mentality. We all came to the soccer game... We should all get a trophy... We should all get A's it's only fair... We all should be bailed out for our stupidity its only fair... 

I weep for a nation that doesn't revile this... These people took an opportunity to insist that wall street pay people back, or that the government quit giving them entitlements and crapped all over it. They took something relevant (potentially) and made it about themselves.

The reason great movements in the past have worked is because people were making it NOT ABOUT THEMSELVES BUT ABOUT RIGHTING A WRONG... Wow... I do not applaud pretentiousness, or hypocrisy. So stop filling the streets with you stupidity, get jobs, work off your student loans (What do you mean I can't get a job with a liberal arts degree with a minor in Sanskrit?) or (What do you mean these assets are toxic? What do you mean this money isn't mine? What do you mean we can't fail, it would mean others would take our place... we would have to get real jobs...)

What I would give for someone to stand up and say enough. The government isn't the freaking answer. All that money you are asking for isn't theirs its ours. You are literally taking the money from your neighbor to pay off your debt. Until you kill entitlements (for rich and poor) this cycle will repeat itself, until the few in the middle break.

Rant Off:

Note. I cannot claim to be an expert in this movement. I did go to the website and read about it before they took to the streets. I read interviews from celebrities, and I ignored any media attention given to the event  with the exception of AP. My disdain for the marchers was not influenced by right wing media, it was strait from my brain and my disgust for anyone who feels entitled to something just because its not fair they don't have it... 

Live isn't fair... It rains on the just and unjust alike... Sometimes truth is just hard.

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do you chain hang low

So begins the rant...

Clothes make the man. Well, they say a lot about the man. I like a suit, and I like wearing a suit. Yet, I spend most of my time looking pretty relaxed, t shirt and jeans is standard uniform for me. But I can clean up if I have to. The point is I will probably never be considered best dressed... (my soon to be wife will try though)

I have also heard that people will often dress in the style that reflects the era when they were most confident, especially if they feel stressed or confused... like the guy rocking the members only jacket during his midlife crisis.
What confuses me is the people who still dress in the pants down around there knees, shirt six sizes too big or wife-beater under shirt, hat backwards flat billed. When was that the style? Isn't that a throw back to a prison culture? I understand that certain artists and performers wore this clothing to exemplify a personal growth from a checkered past and toughness that can only be gained from survival on the streets on the fringe of society and becoming influential despite being robbed of self as a convict. So does wearing these clothes not being an artist, say at walmart with your dumpy wife and feral pack of toddlers imply that you would feel more comfortable on the streets dealing drugs or stealing to survive, or in lock up paying off rival gangs with cigarettes to avoid shower rape?
Is a life on an entitlement program with a wife and small children really less appealing than prison? And how can you dress in a way made popular by groups of people who refuse to accept and trust authority (aka the man, government, the police) and still stay on government assistance?
This makes you a poser, and a terribly dressed one... why not attempt to look like someone of wealth and status? Or dress like those artists who achieved success from their craft, dr. Dre wears suits, and jay z, and 50cent... wake up you have kids... you are not a thug, every thug wants to give their kids a better life and stop running the streets, or at least that's what the rap lyrics say...
I guess its way cooler to dream of a step backwards... im going to start dressing like the homeless or like me at 18 (same thing really ).. see you at Walmart, first of the month...

So ends the rant..

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arguing with myself

So beginth the rant:

I don't really care if you are a political person or not... I don't care which side of the debt ceiling argument you lean towards (I'm really guessing that most of you are just tired of career politicians making decisions that effect a private sector they will never be a part of)...

The point I have to make is both sides are broken and wrong... They exist to only stay in power and neither care about you the little guy...

This picture proves that they are actually fighting themselves... 

I mean do all old white guys not look the same to you? I'm not racist, I can say that... I'm white... What does it matter really... Its not racist if you make fun of white people... 

So endith the Rant:

seriously

So beginith the rant:
Last Friday marked a close call (according to which media outlet you feed from). As a shock to no one really our government could not settle over a budget. One side wants to keep throwing money down the black hole of entitlement programs, screaming that those who disagree with them hate (insert you class of protected people here) and want to see them starve, homeless, dead, or... Well you get the idea. The other wants to funnel monies to the gears of the machine allowing constitutes companies the contracts and feeding the industrial machine, and anyone who disagrees with them is guilty of hating jobs and money... The nauseating thing about this is they both plan to do this with tax payer money... But I am not going to touch this debate, no, what I want to look at in our nation's bloated budget was brought to my attention by this headline, "Budget standoff could result in government shutdown." We all know that the whole government would noy shut down, but the "non essential" programs would stop until funding was secured. I read on in the article which listed the agencies that would stop working... It was a long list from contractors to recruiters. The article said for me not to panic because most everyone will go about life noticing no change...
This made me think, and todays continuing argument about the budget cuts being too extreme... Why do we have all these "non essential" programs at all? Why not just cut away some layers of fat and see what happens? To me the term non essential means they probably... Aren't that friggn important... I mean essential to me means you need it like air, water, and innernets the crap that you need to survive...
So why not start by knifing that crap first? Then move to entitlement programs? Then stop writing contracts? I mean when things get tough for me I don't start with the debate of which I need more food or shelter while playing WOW and talking on a smartphone... I guess we have managed to elect a group of representatives who have never had to budget to live... What does that say about our political machine? But what do I know I'm always broke...

So endith the rant.

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that'll learn em

So beginith the rant,

This bit of news has kind of slipped by as less important than Libya, or Japan having a meltdown. It is a small story that often finds its way to the ticker at the bottom of the screen or maybe even a short mention between coverage of the major stories, or at least it had to the point of me writing this little rant.

What story? you ask. Apparently Islamic people are taking to the streets in Afghanistan, Iraq, and I assume other Islamic countries and rioting and killing people... Normally one would just call this a Monday because of the frequent nature of their outbursts of violence over any thing... "What?!? Someone 3 thousand miles away mentioned something about Mohammad's momma... Better kill some people and destroy some more property..." What stirred up the hornets nest of mouth breathing radicals? None other than the pastor here in FL who burned the Koran... The same guy who was asked nicely not to by the frigg'n pentagon. I cannot even begin to speculate how that jackhole thought burning a Koran would be a good idea? (I wrote about it a few rants back if you want to revisit it) I am not going to continue to blast that idiot, we can all agree that upper brain function is a hit miss thing for him... No what I want to do today is ask a question... 

And here it is, "Why, when outraged at the west, do the Islamic people of these middle eastern countries go to their streets and cause mayhem?" Seriously... Why are they punishing their own country, their neighbors, their infrastructure, to protest us? It would be like me being outraged about something happening in the middle east and driving down the road to McDonald's and burning it down, yeah that'll learn em. I could understand a cry for Islamic people in the US to march in the streets, but to going around killing and breaking stuff in your own country over something some idiot pastor who no one even really cares about over here just doesn't make sense... But who am I to judge a people's actions? I heard GE marked a couple billion dollars  in profit last year and has to pay zero taxes... I am going to go out and sledge hammer some stop signs.

So endith the Rant:

show me some skin

So beginith the rant.

MTV...

Seriously, that could be the entire content of this rant. Those three letters. MTV. The other day I found myself watching a jersey shore marathon... With my roommate...(cause, its was just three dudes watching. nothing wrong with that bro. don't judge) I am the kind of person who tries not to judge a book by its cover. I try not to be one of those close minded people who see something they are not into and assume it is garbage. I also am not one of those people who will never try and experience new  things outside of their comfort zone. So, as much as I hate reality TV, and as much as every aspect of the show jersey shore causes a bile reaction in my throat. I watched it. I even laughed a little bit at it. 

The show is basically a bunch of grown children, having arguments over who took whose toy or touched whose cookie.... Like a roided out kindergarten class. If this show is watched by teen or children and they hope and aspire to be like the cast, then this show could cause more damage to a generation then lead paint. But smashing the jersey shore is not the focus of my rant. The show is a retard, and we all know it. No the focus of this rant is about the commercials that were shown during the breaks of this marathon. 

These are the common repeats of advertising:

-Skins, a new show on MTV (more on this later)

-anti stretch-mark cream

-the new season of 16 and pregnant

-college in your pajamas 

What is the demographic here? 

College aged, teens, with stretch marks, who take classes at home. Wait. Knocked up teens. That is the demographic. Really? Wow... (more on this later)

It dawned on me. MTV is a cancer on today's youth. I'm not saying this because I'm old. I used to watch MTV. It had music, Beavis and Butthead, Jackass, and Ren and Stimpy. You also had Matt Pinfield mumbling to rockstars who performed live on his show... (did I just date myself) Heck I still remember having a crush on Kennedy (what can I say chicks with glasses are hot). Moral of the story is at that time MTV was geared to a college aged demographic. 17 to 25 year old group of people. Today it appears that the target market is more in the 13 to 16 year old demographic. Which wouldn't bother me if the programming reflected anything of merit. But no it is still the same idea as it was when I was in high school. Naked pretty people doing stuff that would make their parents cry. Back in the day it was all 20 somethings making poor choices. Stupid, yes, but they were adults and even with their low IQ's they were doing the dumb stuff at an age when it is legal. Today, MTV seems to promote preteens and teens doing the same stupid stuff only at a younger age. So, instead of naked pretty college people, you have naked children... Let that sink in for just one second... naked children? seriously? 

I will now bring back up the new show skins... I have no idea what this show is about. The commercials for the show had two threads. First, was a bunch of, what appeared to be, 14 to 16 year old kids at a house party spraying liquor and whipped cream all over each other while drunk and rubbing around (in slow motion, you know for effect). Second is a flash back scene played in reverse where a young lady (again appears to be barely 16) is white chick wasted tripping over trashcans at the beginning of the clip but by the end you see that when she left the house she told her mom she was off to study... The hell people? Who is this show written for? As an adult there is no way I should want to watch this... They made this movie once called KIDS. It showed the dark side of teens and the crap that happens. But, it also showed the consequences for those actions, kids died. This show is not written to shock people into paying attention to a lost youth of a generation. To me this show just appears to show the youth of America that its cool to do this crap...

So, please help me. Tell me who this show is written for. If you are an adult, you should be creeped out by watching naked teens rub on each other... It would be like finding you little brother or sister making out, and instead of stopping them.. Just you know watching.... So, it can't be written for the college age demographic. Is it written for kids? Do you want a group of teens and preteens watching naked teens make out, get faced drunk, and do drugs? I lost all respect for MTV a long time ago, but damn MTV you are F'd up... Seriously, to shock me with your depravity is actually impressive... Your advertising during the day is geared toward knocked up teens, who got that way making choices your shows promote and say are cool... You are like a perpetual motion machine of awful.  MTV, you stopped being edgy, a long time ago, you're now the 30 something guy at the high school party in your letter jacket. You stopped being about college aged people doing off the wall stuff to get attention and wandered into the dark side of things, kids dude, kids... If MTV was your neighbor, in most states it would have to come to your house and inform you that it was living there and put a sign in its yard...

Thus endith the rant.

mobile test

This is a test of my phone's ability to post a blog. If this works I may be able to vent in realtime... I will now attempt to post a picture from phone as well

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Soccer... A repost from the past

Soccer

So beginth the rant:....

We all know that nobody in the U.S. really likes soccer. But, we are made to think we, and by we I mean all those who will admit how crappy the game is, are wrong because the rest of the world seems to love it. For the most part I've reserved myself to just making fun of the few people I know who come out of the closet and let me know they actually enjoy soccer, and most of those people understand that I'm not going to waiver in my opinion on the subject. Not to mention that my arguments are based on facts, facts are like poison to hippies and soccer fans alike.

But, still to this day I find people who not only enjoy soccer but find the need to explain to me how the rest of the world is right and that I and 89% of the United States is wrong. I will now go about listing my argument against soccer with a few points.

Point one: Kids are not supposed to be sex slaves… Yes, I said sex slaves. What the hell am I talking about? Just do a little google on World Cup Soccer and sex trafficking. You will be shocked at what you will find. The long and short of this fact is apparently rich people who flock to the biggest world soccer event need to indulge in horrible acts of depravity to suppliant the boredom from watching soccer. So, yeah… Soccer leads to sex slavery.

Point two. USA! USA! WE'RE 1 Face it we are. If we were not hundreds of thousands of people would not be flooding our country to live here. But why are we so awesome? Because we are, and even though hippies and liberals will argue that we are not the best place on the planet… We are. For the past 60 plus years we have been the benchmark of civilization. Her is a short list of why we are the best in the world.

-Soccer, we hate it the rest of the world loves it.....

-Democracy, we elect our officials and actually don't have to worry about being killed for our political beliefs. ....

-Freedom of speech, I mean look at the media today they talk crap about everything the government does and none of them are disappeared.....

-Freedom of religion, you don't have to worry about your Baptist neighbors killing you because you are Assembly of God. (isolated cases sure but not tolerated as a way of life)....

-Infrastructure, we have electricity, phone, roads, running water cable television, satellite, and even inner net to just about every corner of our country.....

-Modern medicine, we have hospitals that will cure you of most ailments that are not built out of cinder blocks, with dirt floors, and equipment used in WW2. ....

-Public schools, if you want you can go to school get educated, and will not be turned away because of gender, race, or religion. ....

What is my point. My point is if the greatest country on the planet hates the sport, it’s a crappy sport.

Point three. IQ. That right the average IQ rating of the world is 80, that's five points above retardation. The middle of the road is 100. So doing the math if you are average intelligence (90-100) half of the world is dumber than you. And according to poles most of the world is below the bar. I have included this bell curve diagram to help you out.

What this shows is over half the world is not very bright and therefore more easily amused by people kicking a ball around not scoring and not accomplishing a linier task. The fact the game is non linier is what makes it suck so badly… You are actually punished for moving too quickly down the field to score…

Point four, poverty. True in most countries people don't have much stuff. We fat lazy spoiled Americans are all about stuff. We have cars, TV's, Ipods, computers, and at least three pairs of shoes. In most countries that's not the case because of their lack of infrastructure and economy they don't have luxuries that we have. So when it comes down to the picking of a past time they can't play a sport that requires equipment. For example lets say you wanted to play basketball. You need a ball, flat hard surface, a hoop, and a backboard. Or baseball, you need a stick, ball, bases, and gloves. To play Tennis you need a net, racket, balls, and a mini skirt. To play soccer you need…

And with this I rest my case… Soccer sucks. It is widely played around the world not because it's a great game, but because the rest of the world is too stupid or too poor to do any better.

Thus endith the rant.