Sunday, May 30, 2010

on to plan... uh... plan?

So beginith the Rant:

I live on the beaches in North West Florida. Did you know that an oil company had an oil rig blow up and is currently leaking oil into the Gulf of Mexico? Did you know this problem is actually weeks old? Did you know that it's still pumping black gold into the water and that sludge is making landfall in Louisiana? Well if you didn't then you'd better thank God for waking you from your coma.

Here are the few things that are rubbing me sideways about this whole oil debacle. First, yes its a big deal that oil is leaking out of a big pipe into the gulf, but this isn't the first time we have had an oil spill. This has been happening all over the world since the dawn of using oil from the ground. Yet, if you listen to the media (who I am now convinced are retarded... All of them. And the only people who are even slightly convinced or believe anything they say are also mentally challenged. I trust the media less than I trust a career politician. Unless said media pundit actually sites sources that I too can read.) you would be convinced that nothing like this has ever happened and this spill is worse than dead babies, Y2k, and Hitler all mixed together, and there is nothing we can do to stop it!! We are all going to DIE!!! The oil will poison us all and then actually gain sentient thought and try to enslave us!! Basically, the media is full of crap. And the oil spill is a big deal... Just not that big a deal. It has happened before and it can be cleaned up.

"But Marshall, the oil company has done nothing. It didn't even have a plan. And the government is doing nothing, it doesn't even have a plan. Big Oil owns the government and is destroying the world... (insert your dumb ass hippie half cocked theory here)"

So whose fault is it? Let's look at the issues and you tell me.
-The rig blew up. For reason unknown. Could have been a structural thing. If so that part could be BP's fault or at least the engineering firm who designed it, or the contractor that built it or inspector that okay'd it.
The shut off valve failed. There again BP, contractor, engineer, or inspector.
-Can't plug the hole. Well, you see big oil had a plan. But it required some government okaying and well they kinda got delayed. So the needed emergency "butt plug" (Seriously plan A is drop a giant frigg'n cork, made of 10 tons of concrete and steel on it and go from there.) was not built quick enough. Why because the government wasn't sure if it was going to work so they needed convincing. Yes, the approved method of emergency stoppage that was agreed upon by the EPA and other government entities was sidelined while they argued whether or not it would work... My question is why didn't they have a few of those butt plugs pre-built in a yard somewhere? One would assume that with the number of rigs in the water that having one of those things ready to move would be a good idea. Strike one BP and Strike one Government.
-The oil was not contained. You see, there is another problem. There are things that can be built to protect coasts from oil. But the EPA wanted to do a study on how those would effect the marine life in the area, but not fast enough to allow for them to be built. So instead of a barrier that could be removed when all was said and done they opted for tons of oil to wash ashore. Good job hippies. And another strike government.
-The oil not getting cleaned up fast enough. Well, here is where it gets tricky. There was a plan A and B and even C to keep this under control, but the ever failing EPA stopped the oil company from using any of the approved plans in fear that it would damage the environment... Yes the EP-freak'n-A stopped cleanup to run test on the cleanup to make sure the cleanup wouldn't damage the environment all the while a 2 foot pipe is pouring crude oil into open water...
Strike (what number are we on?) government... But it gets better the whole time this is going on our environment loving government that is pushing to pass a cap and trade bill to hamstring production in the Untied States based on science that was proven false is still failing to send anyone from coast guard, navy, or EPA to reinforce the locals responding. Ooops another strike government.
Now, because of all this BP cannot do anything to clean anything up ,and they are being painted as failures because their plans haven't worked... Even though they have only been able to execute one of them.
What does this prove? What is my point?
Well, this is a textbook example of why hippies fail at life. Liberals and bureaucrats cannot accomplish anything... EVER! Seriously can you think of a government bureaucratic social plan that has ever succeeded?

I'll end with this:
"Sir that rug is on fire."
"Burning rugs can lead to burning houses we should put that out."
"Great idea, I have here a bucket of water."
"NO! don't throw that water on the fire it could damage the rug."
"Wait, won't the fire destroy the rug."
"Yes, but we can't go possibly damaging the rug keeping it from getting destroyed."
"Sir..."
"Yes."
"You are retarded."
"That is offensive to all mentally handicapped people around the world."
"No, you are retarding the situation, pushing back progress, and hinder forward momentum. By definition you are retarded. And now the rug is gone and the couch is on fire."
"Okay, lets find out who started this fire."
"Before we put it out?"

So endith the rant:

Monday, May 17, 2010

moo juice redux

So beginith the rant:

I love my grandma. We as a family poke fun at her a bit about the random warnings she is famous for bringing to our attention. She will start a conversation with "they say" and we all know what follows will be sensationalized gold.
For example "they" at one time told us that eating eggs was like drinking lard and gasoline mixed with meth. Then in three weeks time "they" said that eating eggs was the healthiest way to gain valuable protean. Then a few weeks later "they" said that really just the egg whites were the healthy part and the yellow yoke (also known as flavor) is the devil's poison. Alas, "they" were not finished just a few months after that "they" said that not eating the yoke of the egg was costing you valuable nutrients that are good for you. This egg egg-zample is just one of the many cases where "they" have told us something is killing us only to later tell us how good that killing substance is for us.

Who is "they"? They is the media in all forms. You see they have to fill hours of broadcast time and somewhere along the way someone realized that people actually trusted what reporters supposedly received from experts as a mirrored copy of the information run through the normal people wording filter so the masses can grasp the needed information. When this trust was realized some jackass somewhere had a thought, "You know if I blatantly make crap up and sell it as gospel fact people will not know the difference, because people are lazy and don't read." Well this breach of trust opened up the gates to the unholy media nightmare that we suffer today. Think about how many times you have heard, "What is killing your kids that you use every day. Details at six." Seriously if something were actually killing your kids don't you think that news would warrant an interruption of regularly scheduled programming? But now you're freaked out because you love your kids and you use stuff every day. Now you will watch a poorly drawn story using one study's numbers skewed out of proportion, and they will have told you that vinegar leads to brain damage and Windex causes aids. Actually it makes me throw up a little in my mouth every time I think about it.

As many of TV watching masses of this country this out right attack on our intelligence has made me distrust everything said by every news person all the time. (Global warming? Global cooling? Climate change? Hole in the ozone? Killer bees? Y2K? Ash from volcanoes? El Nino?) I've beaten this dead horse before, but yet another example has come to light one I've written about before.

Go back and have a read Moo Juice.

Now today I read that chocolate milk is a great way to lose weight and build muscle... Wait? What? Schools actually were not killing children by infecting them with fat? A person can drink some chocolate milk and benefit from its milky goodness? The positive aspects of chocolate milk amplify an active lifestyle? Was Marshall actually right when he said that the cause of childhood obesity is not what the kids eat but what they do? Does the blame fall not on the school lunchroom, fast food, or soda manufactures, but on the shoulders of parents who do not force their children to play? Or how about liberal educators that ban physical education because sometimes a fat kids gets picked last? Here's a great way not to get picked last... work harder on being not fat. How? Burn more calories than you take in. How to keep your kids from being fat? Make them actually move around for a few hours a day, and give them some chocolate milk.

So endith the rant.

Friday, May 7, 2010

i don't get it

So beginith the rant:

I had the great opportunity to travel to Kenya years ago. To make this trip I had to file papers and get a passport. I also had to spend hard earned cash to be stabbed with a number of needles to make sure I didn't die from some awful disease. And lastly I had to go to a doctor and receive a prescription for an anti malaria drug to keep me from getting mosquitoed to death.

The trip another continent took me to three major airports, all which required that I show my papers proving I was an American Citizen and had received my shots. When I arrived in country my passport was stamped with various visas to let any authority know why I was in country and how long I was allowed to stay. I was informed that when traveling I should keep my papers safe, but readily accessible just in case I was asked to present them to anyone. I was a white person in a black nation and this didn't at all seem out of the ordinary. In fact I never once gave the idea that I could be asked to present my passport and visa to anyone another thought, it just seemed like a normal and logical request that could be made to me at anytime.


I drive a car. For those of you who do not let me fill you in on the basic premise. To operate a vehicle (with the exception of certain agricultural options) one must be of a certain age and pass a driving test to show that you have the basic ability to understand the laws that govern our roads and highways and preform basic driving functions with a vehicle. When finish this process you are given a license to carry with you whenever you are driving. When using the road system in any of the United States you can be asked if, and must be able to prove, you have completed this age and testing requirement. The standard and legal way is by presenting a government document to the agent. I have been asked only a few times, unsolicited, to show my proof of legal drivemanship. (by unsolicited I mean not because I broke a law to provoke an officer to inquire about my legitimacy as a driver... that has happened far more than a "few" times) These unsolicited verifications of my legal driving status have all been at a road block, but since the roads are government owned I feel that they have the right to make sure that all who are using them are doing so legally. As annoying as this is I have given it very little thought.

I once used a PO box. To obtain this mailbox I was asked to present two forms of government ID to show that I was who I said I was. I didn't see this as weird or in any way a violation of my rights. I recently found myself taking a job and needing to file employment papers with an HR firm. This firm also asked for two forms of government issued ID to prove that I was who I said I was.

Why am I listing these examples? Simple. In the state of Arizona they recently passed a law that allowed state officials to actually enforce the Federal Laws on people who are in our country illegally and fail to produce an ID in a situation that calls for one. Any of the above mentioned scenarios can be used as probable cause to ask a person to prove their citizenship or legal visiting status. Those who fail will be detained and deported.

Some see this as racist... I see it as... DOING WHAT EVERY FREAKING COUNTRY ON THE FACE OF THE PLANET DOES!!!! EVERY COUNTRY REGULATES VISITORS AND IMMIGRANTS EVEN MEXICO! As a country you have to... Well, you don't have to if you country has a system of government or a standard of living that will not be ill affected by a flood of people who are not part of any regulatory system.

The issue I have here is this. If I were ever asked to prove my citizenship, and as I mentioned above I have been, I will proudly show my papers.
I have read and listened to people compare this law to the Nazi's and them gun butting people who refuse to show their papers as they are walking down the street. Seriously... Is a law designed to get a handle on a flood of illegal immigrants by enforcing the laws that are already on the federal books fascist? Or is the real reason this is a big deal is because the people are brown? I know I'm white and therefor racist by nature... Well, at least that's what I've been taught, because we all know only white people can be racists.

If Montana or Maine made laws that required this of the Canadian immigrants would that lead to such an outcry? (NO.. the answer is no. Because both states have laws that do the very same thing... Well more to the point they just enforce the Federal Laws on immigration) What about the poor Canadians who are just coming down here to escape their high taxes and weak health care and bilingualness? (French... uhhh torture) Where are the celebrities boycotting the states? Where are the protesters? Sorry Frenchy you're white and therefor you have to obey the letter of the law, but had you been born brown you could cry racism and make us all feel terrible that we are abusing you by holding you to the same standards as other races...

The more I write the more sickened I become... I mean what kind of sick race hater am I to think we should treat all people the same under the law regardless of skin color? Who would ever dream of the blasphemous idea of judging someone on their actions rather than their skin color? I'm glad that type of thought is limited to us fringe white racists... I mean NO person of color would ever utter such ideas of injustice...

To wrap up. If I were in another country illegally I would be deported... Especially if I were fraudulently abusing that countries social programs put in place to help its citizenship. I would be deported and held to the full letter of the law, but only because I'm white.

So endith the rant:

Saturday, May 1, 2010

way to go

So beginith the rant:

I have absolutely no love loss for the creepy fundamental religious zealots. To be PC (even though I don't really care) I truly mean every fundamental religious zealot from Islamic to Jewish, from Christian to Atheist, From Buddhist to Scientologist. The moral of this story is if you reach that special place of militant following where by you find that your brain has been damaged to the point that violence and murder with threats and terror are considered acceptable practices for conversion to your belief system I truly care nothing about you. I do not hate these people (only because my Lord really frowns on hating. Unless it's the hating of evil, but seeing how its also a big no no to assume someone is evil... you know that judge not line...) I only ignore them and carry no weight of respect for them.

Now I know religion can be twisted by leaders and used to enslave and incite people to do awful things, horrendous things ranging from mass murder to blind judging and shunning. And I know that it is not the religion's fault, and I know that trying to stop this abuse by writing laws or shutting down hateful sects would open the door for people to start attacking legitimate religious organizations just because they didn't like their message. It's a slippery slope.

Having said that I will now chime in on the South Park Muhammad debacle. (if you seriously don't know anything about this go to yahoo and search it) The moral of that story was two guys who make a habit of slandering every religion and call it satire (tastelessly depicting Siddhartha doing lines of blow off a table in front of 4th graders is not satire, or really funny, or clever...) but some of what Matt and Trey do is actually kind of funny and is considered satire. Even some of their approach to religious mockery. Primarily the Scientology episode. Seeing how this cult is about as much a religion as Sam's Club membership I don't consider any dig at them an attack on a belief system. More to the point these two guys are rude and do not care who they offend, for that last part I have a little respect. (I'm all about say what you think)

You see I live in a country, that at the moment, allows me to have views that offend other people. And the great thing about that is others can have views that offend me. That's a freedom thing, and I love it. But what crawls in my craw and festers is when one group gets to bully another because it has been offended. (see also people suing teachers and coworkers for praying, reading a bible, or talking about their faith) In the South Park case some backwards ass group of Islamic-retards. Yes they are retards, anyone who slows or negates the process of something is retarded. Yes it it offensive. Yes it is true. You know that the Islamic nation was resposible for some of our worlds most important leaps of civilization? The number zero. They had women leaders, and respected the sharing of the Holy Land by all faiths... Until a group decided that enlightenment was stupid and started shoving the whole religion back to the dark ages... That is regression, those people are retarded and in my book are right up there with child molesters and rapists. (because no one should be allowed to spread hatred, shame, and misery)

Back on task. For some reason the media and "intellectuals" keep going out of their way to keep us (everyone but that 15% of the population that shares their beliefs) from hating these retards. They say it is wrong to lump a people and judge them. They say that not all Islamic people are evil retards. (which is true) But what they also say is we should respect these Islamitards (my word. yes you can borrow it) beliefs and not offend them. This is where I draw the frigging line. Here is why.
In my 28 years, 13 of those as a Christian, I have seen my Lord and savior depicted as:
-gay
-pissing on people
-a drunk
-a hippie
-weak
-a pedophile
Just to name a few.
I have seen my God the creator of the universe depicted as:
-a machine that grows algae
-a platypus monster
-a sex crazed old man
-Alanis Morissettte

Some of these depictions caused a few members of more conservative chapters of my faith to write letters or even stage a demonstration or two. And sadly I'm sure someone threw out a death threat or two. But these depictions of my Lord and God were allowed to be seen and the coverage from the media painted those who complained as a fringe group that needed to shut up and face the fact that, "This is 'merica and we don't cotton lightly to being told what we can say and who we can say it to. So suck it." Not an exact quote but close enough.

But when these Islmatards threaten violence we hear things like, "we should respect their views." "It's wrong to offend them." No it's not wrong for us to offend them. It's wrong for us to heed their threats and empower them. Yes, I agree that he Christian-tards who send death threats and call for the killing of people should be shunned and written off as idiots and arrested. By the same token so should the Islamitards. They are not a minority being punished or repressed they are a minority punishing and oppressing. When will people see this? Where is the outrage? Where is the intellectuals sitting them down telling them to "Respect our beliefs"?

Now, let me park this bus. There was a group sponsoring a "Draw Mohammad Day" where everyone can draw Mohammad and post it on a site to tell these groups to suck it. I seriously thought about doing it. But then I would, out of fairness, have to participate in the "Draw an insulting picture of Jesus Day" and "Make a Graven Image of God Day". I'm not going to offend an entire religion to get at one group. Nope. What I'm going to do is pray. Laugh at the funny satire about my faith, and be offended at the offensive stuff. But more importantly I'm going to enjoy living in place where that kind of garbage and creativity can exists freely. I need to do it while I can I fear its only a matter of time before someone ruins it for us all.

So endith the Rant: